Hyoutei VS Rikkai! The TEZUKA PK!
by x.X bored 2day X.x
Summary: Hyoutei appears in Rikkai one day because their rackets were burned. And so, they decide to go to Seigaku. And the bet between Hyoutei and Rikkai this time is who can make Tezuka laugh first. Oh, the horror. But wait... why is Shiraishi here too? :CRACK:
1. Of Ecstasies and Burning Rackets?

**Hi, eberybady! Haw da yu du? XDD**

**No, our english skills are alright. Nothing is wrong, don't worry. We got an A plus on our spelling test. Yay.**

* * *

"AHH!!" Kirihara screamed. "MURA-BUCHOU!! How could you leave without me?"

...Why did he do this? Because Seigaku gave Yukimura a heart attack and Yukimura died! (For furthur reference, please read our other story: '_The Story of How Rikkaidai Died!_')

Just joking.

What Kirihara ACTUALLY said was:

"AHH!!" Kirihara screamed. "MURA-BUCHOU!!"

"What is it, Akaya?" Yukimura asked oh-ever-so-calmly.

"HYOUTEI IS ATTACKING US!! ZOMGOMGOMGOMG!!1111ONEONEONEONEONE!!"

"BOO!" Gakuto suddenly appeared out of somewhere.

"AHH! ZOMBIE! ZOMBA! ZONE! CONE! CANE! CANDY CANE! ...Candy cane tastes good! AH! I feeeeeeeeeeel good!" The INNER Sanada said. BUT! The OUTER Sanada STILL did not master the awesome technique of controlling the INNER Sanada, so, what he said was, "Eel's good!"

"ZOMG!" Marui pointed an accusing finger at Sanada. "HE JUST SAID CANDY CANE!!"

"...no, Marui, he just said that eels are good." Yanagi also pointed an accusing finger. BUT! That finger was only INDIRECTLY pointing at Marui, what was DIRECTLY pointing at Marui was... bandages. Why? Because he just injured his finger! OHH! Poor him!

"NO NO NO!!" Marui said. "I'm postive that he just said candy cane. Uh, I mean, he just THOUGHT of candy cane."

"..."

"..."

"...are you a psychic or something?"

"...uhh... Anyways," Marui pointed his AWESOME accusing finger at the Hyoutei regulars. "Why are YOU guys here?"

"Ahh... we were bored." Gakuto replied.

"...and why are you guys bored?" Marui asked.

"Being bored doesn't need a reason!" Gakuto rolled his eyes.

"... Then go and practice tennis." Kirihara suggested.

"No."

"...Why not?" Yukimura asked.

"...no."

"...WHY NOT?! AHNNNNNNN?" The INNER Sanada shouted. BUT! The outer Sanada only said, "NOT AHNNN!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

**BEEP! Sanada stopped working.**

"..."

"..."

"...what.the.hell.was.that?" Shishido asked.

"Uhh... he... stopped working?" Marui suggested.

"...okay... whatever."

"You people are disrupting our tennis practice." Yukimura said.

"Uhh... as far as I can see, you are not having any tennis practice either." Oshitari pointed out.

"AHH!!" Kirihara shouted. "MURA-BUCHOU!!"

"What is it now, Akaya?"

"Some random dude burned our rackets!!" Kirihara complained.

"Ohhhh...! I see..." Yukimura smiled. "So...where is that dude now?"

"Umm... there!" Kirihara pointed to the Hyoutei regulars, but he doesn't mean that the Hyoutei regulars was the 'dude' because in the midst of the Hyoutei regulars was... Taki. Yay.

"I'll give you three more seconds to live." Yukimura smiled SO pleasantly.

"1... 2..."

Suddenly a gun roared. RAWR!! And... Taki fell to the ground, dead. All heads turned towards the source of the gunshot. And... they saw... Shiraishi Kuranosuke!!

"Ooh... ecstasy!" Shiraishi put his gun away in his pocket. And yes, he KILLED Taki. And Taki DIED. But nobody cares about him so whatever.

"...why are YOU here?" Marui asked.

"Ahh... thats because I was bored." Shiraishi replied matter-of-factly.

"...then go and practice tennis!" Kirihara suggested again!

"...I can't."

"Why?"

"...Because that dude I just killed burnt my racket."

"..."

"..."

"...ahh... ecstasy!"

"Look," Marui said. "If your rackets got burnt then don't you guys know HOW TO BUY A NEW ONE?!"

"...dude. That dude that burnt our rackets also burnt the dudes in the sports shop, so now there is currently no dudes in the sport shops, but why didn't we just take the racket just like that? Ah... because... That dude that burnt our rackets also threatened that he will burn us if we go and get a new racket... in ANY way!! Ahh... how terrifying!" Gakuto replied.

"... but that dude," Marui pointed at Shiraishi, "That dude just killed the dude that burnt our rackets."

"...ah... ecstasy!"

"...so?"

"So go and get a new racket!"

"...no."

"..."

"..."

"Ecstasy."

"...Dude, will you stop saying 'ecstasy'?" Gakuto demanded.

"...Dude, then will you stop saying 'dude'?" Shiraishi demanded back. (Yes, that was wrongly punctuated. Please don't copy us.)

"But like, DUDE! That's like, DUDE! How can you live without saying DUDE??"

"...ahh... ecstasy."

"...go to hell."

"...dude, get a life, go to heaven!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...98.46784231590 (Yes, that zero was totally unnecessary, but who cares.) percent that this dude," Yanagi pointed at Shiraishi. "Will say-"

"Ahh..." Shiraishi began.

"-ecstasy again." Yanagi finished.

"...ecstasy!!" he exclaimed.

"...dude...will you stop saying 'ecstasy'?"

"...Dude, will you stop saying 'dude'?"

"...eh... DUDES! Will ya dudes please stop arguing?" Jackal stepped in between the two.

"..."

"..."

"DUDE... go ta hell." Gakuto and Shiraishi both said at the same time.

"...OHH!"

**BEEP! Jackal stopped working. But! Sanada started working again! Yay.**

"Ehh..wait! Dudes of Hyoutei! I seek your captain, where should he be?" Sanada asked. Why did he suddenly sound like that? Because! When he stopped working, somethings broke, and I think that affected him! K O! Super effective!! So!

**Beep! Sanada stopped working. BUT! Jackal started working again! Not yay.**

And so, the Hyoutei regulars parted, to reveal THE great awesomish-est (Yes, that's not a word.) Atobe-sama... ranting... about what? You wouldn't like to know... but if you insist, we shall tell you. Let's take a look:

"Eels are good! Get it? Eels are guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud!! Eels are smort so you will become smuert."

"...Atobe, you mean 'SMART'!" Shishido pointed out.

"Usu."

"No, Ore-sama does NOT mean 'SMART', Ore-sama means 'Ore-sama' ! So you will NOT say that Ore-sama means 'SMART', because Ore-sama does NOT mean 'smart'! 'Ore-sama' is a charming being that is used to describe an equally charming person such as Ore-sama! And you ask WHY Ore-sama is so charming? ...Because Ore-sama eats eels, so Ore-sama is SMUERT!"

"Atobe... noone wants to know all that."

"DUDES!" Marui waved his arms to get everyone's attention. "I DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU'RE BORED OR YOUR RACKETS ARE BURNED OR IF YOU'RE SO DAMN OBSESSED WITH 'ECSTASY' OR IF EELS ARE GOOD ARE ANYTHING, JUST GET OUT OF OUR SCHOOL!"

"Ore-sama has an idea!"

"...dude, don't just ignore people..." Kirihara said.

"Since ALL of our rackets are burned, let's go to Seigaku!!" Atobe declared.

"Ahh... good idea! Ecstasy!!" Shiraishi said.

"Ah, yeah, let's go!" Gakuto agreed.

"Mura-buchou, can we go too?" Kirihara asked.

"Well-" Yukimura began.

STOP! Whether Yukimura likes it or not, Rikkai has to go to Seigaku so yeah, they went. Yay. That's the power of the authoress(es)!

* * *

**It got a little out of hand in this chapter... so the actual PK will start on the next chapter. Please stay tuned!**


	2. Mission: Make Tezuka laugh!

**Ahhhhhhh...**

**Ecstasy!**

**Ecstasy eels are good!**

**We feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel good!**

**XDDDD**

**Sorry. Now we shall proudly present you with THE long awaited second chapter! Where the actual PK starts!! Yayness for that.**

* * *

"Seigaku looks cheap." Atobe commented, as a Hyoutei and a Rikkai and a Shiraishi walked into the gates of Seigaku.

"Usu." Gakuto said.

"Usu." Kabaji said.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hahahahahaha!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Who just laughed?" Shishido demanded.

"HAHAHA! I just laughed!" A voice came out of nowhere.

"AHH! ZOMBIE! ZOMBA! ZONE! TEZUKA ZONE! TEZUKA CONE! TEZUKA CANE! TEZUKA CANDY CANE ECSTASY EELS! TEZUKA IS AN EEL! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL'S GOOD! I FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL GOOD!" the INNER Sanada declared. BUT! The OUTER Sanada cannot say it BECAUSE it won't be Sanada-ish!! HOWEVER! The OUTER Sanada cannot completely control the awesomish INNER Sanada, so! He said 'TEZUKA' from the first part, 'EEEEEEEELS' from the second part and 'FEEEEEEEEEEL GOOD' from the third part.

So... what came out was...

"TEZUKA EELS FEEL GOOD!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What the fuck?!" The OUTER Sanada said. In other words, Sanada actually said that.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ohhh... ii data!" A creepy voice sounded from a bush behind THE Hyoutei, THE Rikkai and THE Shiraishi.

"Sadaharu." Yanagi nodded.

BUT! The person was NOT Inui Sadaharu! It was! Sadaharu Inui NOT! It was NOT Sadaharu Inui. It was Yanagi Renji. Because... Yanagi went like, "Ii data!" and nodded thoughtfully. Then... he was like, "Sadaharu." ...while hiding in the bush.

"Mada mada dane!" A voice said.

Everyone said, "OH! ECHIZEN RYOMA!"

"...oh, cool. You guys actually fell for that?" Gakuto stepped out from behind a tree.

"Let's not waste our time out here and go inside!" Shiraishi ecstasied. "Ecstasy!"

And they ALL went inside.

And they were ALL ambushed.

By ALL the Seigaku regulars.

ALL minus Tezuka.

Where was Tezuka?

He was in detention.

Why was he in detention?

Because he didn't answer the teacher's question.

Why didn't he answer the teacher's question?

Because

He

Did

Not

Feel

Like

.

Fullstop

.

And thus. He was here. In detention. He was punished for distrupting the class. And the evil teacher he was. Punished him by making him... clean the toilet. The GIRLS toilet. (For furthur reference, please refer to our other fic: _'Seigaku PK Special: Tezuka VS Toilet.'_ Because we'd be out of topic if we wrote the details here...)

SO! Back to the topic.

After Hyoutei, Rikkai and Shiraishi got ambushed...

"FUJI SYUUSUKE!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...what was that?" Yagyuu asked.

"A gunshot!!" Kirihara pointed an ACCUSING finger at Yagyuu.

"AHHHH!!" Yagyuu screamed.

"AHHHH!!" Kirihara screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Rikkai regulars screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Laser beam." this was from Yagyuu.

"...a gunshot." this was from Kirihara.

"Cool." this was from both Yagyuu and Kirihara.

"...And this is how Ore-sama's charming good looks would save the world from dolphin invasion. So everyone..."

"EAT EELS!!" Gakuto randomly shouted.

Atobe looked at him. "...Yes. Everyone should eat eels. Because eels are smort. So you will become smuert. And Ore-sama is smuert. And Ore-sama has toes. So everyone should bow at my feet, which has Ore-sama's charming toes on them."

"...what kind of logic is that?" Oishi commented.

"Normal logic." Gakuto said. "Common sense."

"...fshhhh..."

"FISH!" Jirou randomly screamed and went back to sleep.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Ore-sama shall now tell you how awesome Ore-sama's fish is-"

"Ahem." Fuji coughed- "We are grateful for your generosity, but we do not want to know ANYTHING about your fish." -with a pleasant smile.

"Ore-sama's fish is awesome. It is awesome. It is very awesome. It is really awesome. It is really very awesome. Why? Because it has toes. And it eats eels. So it is awesome. So it is very awesome. So it is really awesome. So it is really very awesome. Why? Because it doesn't live in water. So that makes it even more awesome. And it is a dog. So it is the most awesomest fish in the world. Why? Because it is a fish."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...everybody please stay at least twenty meters away from Atobe." Yukimura kindly informed all of Atobe's poor victims, with a pleasant smile.

"Very kind of you to warn us." Fuji said with a PLEASANT smile.

"Not at all." Yukimura replied with a _PLEASANT_ smile.

"Oh, yes." Fuji said with a **_PLEASANT _**smile.

And... we'll leave those two in a competition on pleasant smiles... now... moving on...

"Ore-sama has an idea!!" -Atobe

"...no." -Oshitari.

"Usu." -Kabaji.

"Ecstasy." -Shiraishi.

"Laser beam." -Yagyuu.

"Gunshot." -Kirihara.

"Gekidasa daze." -Shishido.

"Shishido-san." -Ootori.

"Gekokujyou da." -Hiyoshi.

"Eels are good." -INNER Sanada.

"Good." -OUTER Sanada.

_Pop._ -Marui.

"Puri." -Niou.

"Zzzz." -Jirou.

**BEEP. Jackal stopped working.** -Jackal.

"Sadaharu." -Yanagi.

_Smile._ -Yukimura.

"...what do I say?" -Gakuto.

"Curtains." -The authoresses.

All this time... Seigaku was like... What the fuck?! Did these dudes have some kind of rehearsal or something?

"Saa..." Fuji smiled.

...there goes the evil sadistic psychic prodigy of Seigaku...

"Listen to Ore-sama's idea!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Let's make Tezuka laugh!!"

* * *

**...no... wait... the PK didn't start yet... ahhh...**

**...**

**Sorries!! But we promise, promise promise that the PK WILL start in the next chapter! Please stay tuned! XDD**


	3. Mission: Drawing lots!

**Everyone is an AHN!!**

**...**

**AHN is good! Why? Because AHN-s eats eels! So they are GOOD!!**

**...**

**Whatever....**

* * *

"Aren't we supposed to make Tezuka laugh?" Gakuto asked.

"Yeah... kind of..." Marui said.

"So, who goes first? Someone from Hyoutei or Rikkai?" Shishido asked.

"Dunno." Niou said.

"It won't be fair if Rikkai started first, right?" Ootori asked.

"It won't be fair if Hyoutei started first!" Kirihara said.

"Usu?" Kabaji asked.

"Usu." The INNER Sanada said. "Usu." The OUTER Sanada said. "Usu."

"Then who goes first AHN?" Atobe asked.

"Ahh...dunno." Jackal said.

"Aren't you guys wasting time?" Oshitari asked.

"Yes." Yagyuu said.

"Zzzz?" Jirou asked.

"What the -_smile-_." Yukimura said.

"Do I want to Gekokujyou?" Hiyoshi asked.

"99 percent that you do." Yanagi said.

"...Hyoutei is asking, Rikkai is saying... What do I do?" Shiraishi wondered.

"..."

"..."

"...AHH! I KNOW!! I shall....ECSTASY!!!" Shiraishi ecstasied.

"YOU!" Hyoutei and Rikkai pointed their AWESOME accusing fingers at Shiraishi. "BE QUIET!!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ahh!!" Gakuto suddenly said. "I have an AWESOME idea!!!"

"..."

"..."

"...go on... we're listening..." Shishido said.

"Let's... draw lots!" Gakuto declared.

"..."

"...draw?"

"Yes."

"..."

"...dude... I don't feel like drawing... art sucks." Niou said.

"No," Gakuto said. "I mean like, DRAW. Not DRAW."

"Dude, SAME THING!! It's DRAW!!"

"NO! It's DRAW not DRAW!"

"...dude..."

"I mean like, a lottery? You draw from the lottery?" Gakuto tried to explain.

"Ahh... you mean draw, not DRAW!"

"That's what I said!!!"

"Ahh...!!!"

"Ah, you mean like," Marui began. "We draw papers with our names on it and we go in pairs, one from Hyoutei, one from Rikkai?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...I told you that Marui-senpai had this creepy psychic ability..." Kirihara backed away.

"Ah, good idea!" Atobe snapped his fingers. Ouch! He snapped his own fingers?! AHH!!! Self-torture!!! Nah, just joking... you know what we mean...

A butler came up with a box in his hands. Atobe nodded to the Rikkai regulars. "This box contains the names of the Hyoutei regulars. Pick one."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...when the hell did he prepare all this?" Oshitari demanded.

"Oh, me me me!!" Kirihara jumped up. "Me! I want to pick first!!"

"No, me first!!" Marui said.

"No, ME!!"

"No, ME!!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND PICK!!!" Shishido roared. RAWR!!

"..."

"..."

"..."

Marui stepped back. "Yeah, you first."

"..."

"..."

Kirihara: Speechless-ing.

SO!! Kirihara took a piece of paper out of the box and unfolded it. "...Pikachu?" he read.

"..."

"..."

"...what the fuck?!"

"Ahhh!!!" Atobe gestured to the butler, who brought out another box. "That was the wrong box, this one is the correct one."

"..."

"..."

"...dude... what the hell do you keep in that box?" Yanagi asked, pointing to the box where Kirihara drew out the paper with 'Pikachu'.

"Ahhhh...."

"...?"

"....AHHHHH..."

"...??"

"AHHHHHHH!!!"

"Ah?"

"Aha!"

"What the fuck?" ...Atobe actually made Yanagi swear... World record!!!

"OHOHOHO! Merry Christmas!"

"...whatever."

"..."

"..."

Yagyuu turned to Ootori, "I think your buchou has finally lost it."

"..." Ootori sweatdropped.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Kirihara drew another paper out of the 'correct' box.

And... he unfolded the piece of paper...

_To be continued..._

* * *

**...no... wait... the PK didn't start yet... ahhh...**

**...**

**Sorries!! But we promise, promise promise that the PK WILL start in the next chapter! Please stay tuned! XDD**

**(Wasn't this the same thing we wrote last time? ...who cares...)**


	4. Team 1: Laugh or Die!

**Aha! We came back! AHAHAHA!! Now we shall start the PK!!! YAY!!!**

* * *

"Everyone 100 laps, NOW!"

"Ahh! Buchou!!" The Seigaku regulars gasped. Standing in front of them was _THE _TEZUKA KUNIMITSU!! "Hai!!" And they all went and ran their assigned laps...

Tezuka stood there... and noticed the Hyoutei, the Rikkai, and the Shiraishi tennis team regulars... no, not Shiraishi tennis team regulars... only Hyoutei and Rikkai...

Kirihara Akaya. He drew a paper... out of Atobe...'s box... out of Atobe's box... and stared at it. ".fuck?!" He swore, then turned his head at the Hyoutei regulars... and pointed his AWESOME accusing finger at... a person. It was... a person. So! It was a person! BUT! It was not a normal person! Because! It was Oshitari Yuushi!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!11oneone!!!!!!11!!!!!!!111oneone111!!!!1one!1!!!

"WHY THE FUCKING HELL AM I FUCKING PAIRED UP WITH THAT FUCKING DUDE?!?!?!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

SILENCE!!

"..."

"..."

More silence....

"..."

"..."

"...okay. Whatever. I hate silence." Kirihara declared. SO! He walked up to Tezuka and stood in front of him. And stared at him.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...oi... Yuushi..." Gakuto poked his partner's arm, "Go make Tezuka laugh! Or we're going to lose!!"

"Oi! Woodman! Metalman! Human! Tezuka-man! Laugh!" Kirihara demanded.

"..."

"Laugh or die!" Kirihara threatened.

"..."

"Hmph." Oshitari smirked, and just stood there. He planned to watch. It was interesting. Very interesting. So. He decided to watch.

"OSHITARIIIIII!!!" Atobe screeched. "HOW DARE YOU JUST STAND THERE!!! ORE-SAMA DEMANDS YOU TO MAKE TEZUKA-MAN LAUGH!! AHN! MAKE HIM LAUGH OR DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!! ...No. Wait. Don't die! If you die, Ore-sama's tennis team will have an empty spot... so don't die!"

"Hey! Don't copy that 'laugh or die' thing from me!" Kirihara complained.

"Copy or die!" Gakuto said.

Kirihara glared at him. "Say that again and you shall die!"

"..."

"..."

Tezuka wanted to die. At least it was better than being stuck with this bunch of... retarded.... banana heads...

(**Tezuka's dictionary:** _BANANA HEADS_: noun. plural. ie. idiots. A person whose brain was shaped like a banana. eg. Gakuto is a banana head.)

"DIE DIE DIE!!!" Kirihara poked Tezuka with a pen.

"..."

"DIE DIE DIE!!!" Kirihara poked Tezuka with a ruler.

"..."

"DIE DIE DIE!!!" Kirihara poked Tezuka with a rubber.

"..."

"DIE DIE DIE!!!!!" Kirihara poked Tezuka with his finger.

"..."

"ARRGHHH!! JUST DIE ALREADY!!!!" And Kirihara stabbed Tezuka with a knife.

"..."

"..."

"...wahhh..." Everyone stared.

"AHAHAHAHA!!! YOU SHALL DIE!!!! BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LAUGH, SO YOU SHALL DIE!!!!" Kirihara was now stabbing Tezuka furiously with his knife.

"..."

"..."

"...dude... you can't just kill him with that knife..." Oshitari spoke up.

"And why can't I?!" Kirihara asked while stabbing Tezuka continuously.

"... obviously, since that knife you are holding... is made of rubber."

"..."

"..."

...And then, everyone was like, 'Wow! How did he know that?!'

Then, Oshitari was like, "Hmph, because I am a genius."

"..."

"..."

"...FINE!" Kirihara threw his rubber knife on the ground, and took out something out of his pocket. "Then I shall kill him with this!'' He displayed what was in his hands, it was a... bazooka!

"AHHH!!!" Everyone screamed.

"BAZOOOOOKA!!" Kirihara screamed.

"FIRE!" Jackal screamed.

...Then, Kirihara fired.

"YOU IDIOT!!" Everyone screamed at him.

"B..But HE told me to fire!" Kirihara pointed his AWESOME accusing finger at Jackal.

"No. Wait... We should be dead by now... why aren't we dead?" Gakuto asked, then fell to the floor, and did not move again.

_...1 second..._

_...2 seconds..._

_...3 seconds..._

"...I am dead!" Gakuto declared.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Everyone screamed at him.

"Ahh!!!" Gakuto pointed his AWESOME accusing finger at Kirihara... 's bazooka.

Everyone turned to look.

And saw...

A clown's head popping out of the gun's muzzle.

And at first everyone thought it was a bullet.

But it was stopped...

....by a spring...

The clown's tongue was sticking out... at Tezuka. How rude!

"HOW DARE YOU!!! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!!! YOU BANANA HEAD!!! I NEARLY DIED!!!" The INNER Tezuka shrieked. But the OUTER Tezuka is not able to do so because it isn't Tezuka-ish!!! But, as we all know, THE OUTER Tezuka is not able to completely control the INNER Tezuka, so the OUTER Tezuka said the last word of every sentence... so.. what came out was...

"You die head died."

''...''

''...''

''...''

And so... Kirihara and Oshitari had failed. Why? Because they had failed to make Tezuka laugh...

Atobe snapped his fingers, and called a servant. "Bring me THAT!"

The servant gasped, turned pale, and backed away. "A...a...ar...are you sure you want THAT?!?!?!"

"Yes, bring THAT to Ore-sama!"

"...y...y...yes."

After a while, the servant came back with something black, shiny, evil and sinister looking thing, and handed it to Atobe.

"...What is that?"

"..."

"..."

SILENCE...

"...YOU GUYS HAVE FAILED ORE-SAMA! AND NOW, YOU WILL HAVE TO FACE THE DIRE CONSEQUENCES!!" Atobe held up the THING in his hands, which was a machine gun... And... he blew off Kirihara and Oshitari's heads...

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...well... who's next?" Atobe demanded.

"..."

"...me?" Marui raised his hand.

"..."

"..."

Everyone clapped inwardly for him, 'How brave!!'

And so, Marui walked up to the box and drew out a piece of paper and unfolded it....

_...to be continued..._

* * *

**...may peace be upon all of you...**

**XDDD**

**Please stay tuned!!**


	5. Team 2: Toffees and Cosmetic brands?

**-Insert AWESOMISH author's note here-**

* * *

Marui stared at the piece of paper in his hands. And he stared. And stared. And stared.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...oh my god." Marui gasped.

"...oh your god." Gakuto gasped.

"Oh our god!!" Marui and Gakuto gasped.

"..."

"..."

"...I bet both of you are paired up." Shishido said.

"..."

"...no." Marui said.

"...no." Gakuto said.

"No no no!!" Marui and Gakuto said.

"..."

"...I... am... paired.. up... with..." Marui squinted at the paper, "Shi..." He paused, then brought the paper closer to his face, "...shi..." He looked at the paper closely. "Shi... shi..."

"...she what?" Shishido asked.

"...doooo." Marui finished.

"Doom? Who is doomed?" Gakuto asked.

"...she do what?" Shishido asked impatiently.

"...it's 'What did she do?'." Yanagi corrected. "Incorrect grammar, tsk tsk." Then he nodded thoughtfully, "Mm, Sadaharu."

"Wah...She is dooooooooooooooomed!!" Gakuto started to run around in circles. "AHH!! MAY THE DOOM BEFALL ON HER!!! AHHHH!"

"...No. Wait, why am I paired up with a cosmetic brand?!" Marui asked Atobe, who raised his machine gun menacingly with a glare.

"...okay, fine." Marui said. "I won't ask."

"...cosmetic brand?" Shishido asked, then he snatched the paper from Marui's hands, "Let me read."

"..."

"...wait... you're paired up with..." Shishido squinted at the piece of paper, which was about like, one centimeter in length and one centimeter in width...

"...a cosmetic brand." Marui finished for him.

"...no." Shishido said, "You're paired up with..." he turned to Marui. "...me."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Marui faced Atobe. "Kill me."

"..."

"..."

"...what the fuck?!" Shishido asked.

"YOUUUU..." Marui pointed his AWESOME accusing finger at Shishido, "You cosmetic brand!!!"

"..."

"..."

"...Ore-sama demands you two to make Tezuka laugh."

"...Shiseido." Marui said.

"...Shishido." Gakuto said.

"...Cosmetic brand." They both said.

"...no." This was from Shishido himself.

"...so... it is not 'Shishido'?" Gakuto asked.

"...Yes.''

"...ah.... so it is NOT 'Shishido'!!"

"...no."

''See! I told you that it is not 'Shishido'!!" Marui said proudly.

"...whatever."

''...there is a 99 percent chance that you guys will get your heads blown off by Atobe if you don't start in trying to make Tezuka laugh." Guess who said this.

"..."

"...fine."

"...cosmetic brand!"

"...no."

"...Then... give me candy!" Marui said.

"...no."

"Please?"

"...no."

"I want candy too!!" Kirihara whined.

"..."

"..."

"..."

SILENCE.

"..."

"..."

More silence...

Then...

"AHHHHH!!!" Marui screamed.

"AHHHHH!!!" Gakuto screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Everyone screamed.

"AHHHHHHH!!!" Kirihara screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

"..."

"..."

SILENCE...

"...didn't you just die?" Marui asked.

"...no, I didn't." Kirihara said.

"...yes you did."

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!!"

"NO, I DIDN'T!!!"

"YES YOU DID!!!!!" Everyone screamed.

"...okay, fine." Kirihara sulked in a dark corner, "Everyone wants me dead."

"...it's okay, Akaya." Yukimura smiled.

"Ohh!! Mura-buchou!!! You're the only person I can rely on!!!" Kirihara exclaimed.

"_OH_, HOW DARE YOU STEAL _MY_ YUKIMURA?!?!?!_ AKAYA_!!!" The INNER Sanada screamed. BUT! The OUTER Sanada also is not able to completely control the AWESOME INNER Sanada (Just like our beloved Tezuka-buchou) so... what came out was...

"OH! MY AKAYA!!"

"..."

"..."

"...OH!! SANADA-FUKUBUCHOU!!!!" Kirihara was near tears. "I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO TOUCHED!!!"

"AHHH!!! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!!!" The INNER Sanada shrieked, BUT! What the OUTER Sanada said was, "TOUCH ME!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

**Beep! Sanada stopped working.**

"..."

"..."

"...Anyways." Kirihara began, "Aren't you guys supposed to make Tezuka-man laugh?"

"...Ahh..." Marui said.

"...Ore-sama demands that you make Tezuka-man laugh! _**NOW**_!"

"...Why are you calling Tezuka 'Tezuka-man' everytime Kirihara pops out?" Oshitari asked.

"Ahh... it's addictive." Atobe replied simply.

"...Tezuka-man."

"..."

"..."

"...oh, by the way," Atobe turned to Oshitari, "Why are you still alive?"

"..."

"..."

"...because I just am."

"..."

"..."

Marui went up to Tezuka. "Oi! Give me candy!"

"..."

"...dude, you can't just ask him for candy. He is not like, a candy man or something." Shishido commented.

"Ahh... you shut up! Cosmetic brand!" Marui snapped, then he turned to Tezuka, "Oi... Tezuka-candy-man! Give me candy or laugh!"

"..."

"..."

Tezuka reached into his pocket and took out a toffee.

"..."

"..."

"Wuah!! CANDY!!!" Marui cried happily and took the toffee, "Okay, you don't need to laugh."

...annndddd... Marui walked away with his AWESOME toffee...

"..."

"..."

"...oi, Shishido!" Atobe shrieked, "Don't lose! Go make Tezuka-man laugh!!!"

"..."

Shishido walked up to Tezuka and reached out a hand. "...give me candy too."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Tezuka reached into his other pocket and took out another toffee.

Shishido took the toffee and left.

"..."

"..."

"...YOU BUNCH OF BIG-EATERS!!! YOU TOOK ALL MY TOFFEES!!!" The INNER Tezuka screamed.

(**Tezuka's dictionary: **_BIG- EATERS: _noun. plural. ie. A greedy person. eg. Marui is a big-eater.)

"..."

"..."

"YOU GUYS HAVE FAILED ORE-SAMA!!! FACE THE DIRE CONSEQUENCES!!!!" This time, Atobe took out a... tank... and... blasted Marui and Shishido...

"...ohh... ii data..." Yanagi scribbled in his notebook, "Tezuka keeps toffees... hm, hm..." He nodded then said, "Sadaharu."

But what he didn't notice was, everyone took a step back and he was now standing in front of the group...

"You!" Atobe pointed at him, "Take a paper out of Ore-sama's box, now! Because YOU are next!!!"

"..."

Yanagi walked up to the box and drew out a piece of paper... a BIG piece of paper... it was an A2 paper... not an one centimeter by one centimeter paper... oh... how he wondered whose name was written on it...

_...to be continued..._

* * *

**Ta dah!!**

**XDD**


	6. Team 3: Data Failure

**Welcome back!! XDD**

* * *

Yanagi looked at the paper... but... he failed to see anything. No, it's not because he didn't open his eyes or because he is blind... it's because... nothing was written on the paper. Well, hardly anything. Because... it was written in invisible ink! How did he know? Ah... because being the data man he is, Yanagi knows everything! Including when Atobe runs out of pens. Ahh!! How terrifying!!

"Mm, according to MY data... what's written on this, I don't know." Yanagi sadly announced, then nodded thoughtfully, "Mm, Sadaharu."

"Well, since you don't know," Atobe smirked triumphantly, "According to ORE-SAMA's data, Ore-sama's name is written on it!" He flipped his hair.

"Oh!" Yanagi gasped, and fell to ground dramatically. "NOO!! Help me, SADAHARU!!!" He shouted to the skies... and when he saw Sadaharu's face amongst the clouds, a glimmering ray of hope dawned on his darkened soul, "OH!!! SADAHARU!!! MY LIGHT OF HOPE!!!"

Back to where the Seigaku regulars were running their laps...

"A-CHOOOOOO!!!" Inui sneezed loudly and dramatically.

"Eww, that's disgusting, Inui-senpai." Ryoma complained.

Inui sniffed as he continued running, "According to MY data...." He paused, then said, " I love my data!!"

...well... back to where the Hyoutei, the Rikkai and the Shiraishi were attempting to make the Tezuka-man laugh...

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Ecstasy!!!" Shiraishi ecstasied.

"SHUT UP!!!!" Everyone screamed.

"...okay, FINE!" Shiraishi cowered in a dark corner, "Nobody was saying anything so I just decided to... say something." He sniffed, "Ohhhh, ecstasy."

"..."

"..."

Atobe walked up to Tezuka.

Tezuka backed away.

Atobe edged closer.

Tezuka took out a shield, "Ohh... Don't you attack me!! I am not scared of your machine guns!"

"..."

"..."

Kirihara pointed at the shield Tezuka was holding, "Where did THAT come from?!"

"AHAHAHA!!! BEHOLD THE _AWESOME POWERS_ OF MY _SHIELD_!!! NOW YOU CAN'T _ATTACK_ ME!! HAHAHAHA! I am such a smartist!!" The INNER Tezuka exclaimed.

(**Tezuka's dictionary: **_SMARTIST:_ noun. i.e. A clever person; genius. eg. I am a smartist.)

BUT! What the OUTER Tezuka said was, "Awesome powers shield attack!"

"..."

"..."

"What . The . Fuck?!?!?" Gakuto stared at Tezuka.

"Oi! Tezuka-man!! Ore-sama demands you to laugh! Laugh! Or you shall get one thousand dollars!"

"..."

"..."

"...what the fuck?!" Gakuto stared at Atobe.

"..."

"...Dude! Stop swearing at Ore-sama! Or you shall get one thousand dollars!"

"..."

"..."

"What the fuck?"

"What?"

"What the fuck?!?!"

"...Ahh... It's okay, Ore-sama knows that Ore-sama is sooooo charming that you cannot stop staring... and swearing."

"WHAT THE FUCK?! Dude, go ta hell!"

"..."

"..."

"...No, Ore-sama shall not go to hell, because Ore-sama shall go to heaven, but Ore-sama shall not go to heaven, because Ore-sama shall not die! Why? Because Ore-sama is immortal! And Ore-sama is charming and has charming toes! So the angels in heaven shall be awed by Ore-sama's prowess, so Ore-sama has toes, and shall not go to hell, because Ore-sama has a fish. And the fish has toes, and it doesn't live in water because it is a dog, so it is awesome and so, Ore-sama shall not die, therefore, Ore-sama shall not go to heaven, and Ore-sama shall not go to hell, because Ore-sama eats eels and has toes, thus, Ore-sama is smuert..." And... Atobe started ranting again...

"Ahh... Sadaharu!!" Yanagi spread his arms out dramatically in front of him, "Thank you for your ray of hope!!"

Back to where the Seigaku regulars were running their laps... (Wait, they still haven't finished?!)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-choo." Inui sneezed again.

"EWW!" Everyone, except Fuji, shrieked and gave him grossed out looks.

"Ah, you've got skills, Inui." Fuji observed calmly. "First it was 'a-choooooo' then it was 'aaaaaaaa-choo', very skillful indeed."

"Thank you, Fuji," Inui said calmly.

...back to where the 'make-Tezuka-man-laugh mission' was held...

"So," Yanagi cleared his throat. "Tezuka-man, please laugh."

("STOP COPYING 'TEZUKA-MAN' FROM MEEE!!" Kirihara weeped. Aww....)

"NO! _I_ shall NOT laugh! Because I _am_ awesome, _not_ like you, like _my mom_!" The INNER Tezuka shrieked. BUT! What the OUTER (actual) Tezuka said, was...

"I am not my mom!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...riiiiiight....?" Niou raised his eyebrow.

Atobe also raised his eyebrow, "Yes, you're not your mom, because Ore-sama is also not Ore-sama's mom, because Ore-sama has toes, so Ore-sama is not Ore-sama's mom. And Ore-sama eats eels and Ore-sama's toes are smuert and charming and awesome because Ore-sama has a fish that doesn't live in water and has toes, and it is a dog, so Ore-sama is not Ore-sama's mom..." And on and on and on....

"Laser beam." Yagyuu said randomly.

"A gunshot." Kirihara added.

"Cool." they both said.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Yagyuu-senpai, let's say that again." Kirihara said.

"..yeah, sure." Yagyuu nodded.

"..."

"..."

"...laser beam..." Yagyuu began... but...

"FIRE!!!" Jackal suddenly cut in.

Pshoo!! Yagyuu fired a laser beam.

"YOU IDIOT!!" Everyone screamed.

"...he told me to fire." Yagyuu pointed at Jackal.

"..."

**Beep. Jackal stopped working.**

"..."

"Tezuka-man," Yanagi turned to Tezuka formally. "If you would kindly laugh, I shall give you a toffee."

"OHHH!!! _GIVE ME_ TOFFEE, _DATA MAN_, GIVE ME TOFFEE!!" The INNER Tezuka screamed, but the OUTER Tezuka said...

"Give me data man!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"NO!" Yanagi said determinedly, "I shall not give you Sadaharu!!"

"Renji," Yukimura patted Yanagi on his back, "Inui is in Seigaku, and Tezuka is his buchou."

Yanagi stiffened and turned around to face Yukimura with teary eyes (his eyes are still closed, by the way...), "Oh...." he gasped, "You're right, buchou! Why... why haven't I thought of that?!"

Yukimura sighed and shook his head, "I'm sorry, Renji."

"Ohh!!!" Yanagi cried to the skies, "God! Gods! Goddesses! Why are you doing this to me?!"

"...laser beam." Yagyuu suddenly commented.

"FIRE!" Gakuto said.

"NO! I shall not fire!"

"...awww..." Gakuto pouted, "I don't have the awesome abilities to make them fire, unlike Jackal..." And he went to sulk in a dark, and creepy, and gloomy, and emo, and sinister, and evil corner of woe.

"YOU!!" Atobe suddenly stopped his rants and pointed at Yanagi. "YOU HAVE FAILED ORE-SAMA!!! AND NOW! YOU SHALL FACE THE DREADFUL CONSEQUENCES!!"

And so... Atobe stabbed Yanagi in the stomach with a knife... a polished, and shiny, and glimmering, and sparkling, and big, and sharp knife...

"...wahh...!!!" Everyone stared at him with big, round eyes.

"But Ore-sama shall not kill Ore-sama because Ore-sama has not failed Ore-sama, because Ore-sama had not, will not and cannot fail Ore-sama, because Ore-sama has toes. And Ore-sama eats eels, and no charming, and beautiful, and awesome being such as Ore-sama can ever fail Ore-sama, so Ore-sama had not, will not, and cannot fail Ore-sama, because Ore-sama has toes, really charming toes, so Ore-sama shall not, had not, will not, and cannot fail Ore-sama..." Atobe ranted, then, "...Who's next?" He demanded.

"OH ME! ME! ME!" Gakuto exclaimed.

"...No." Atobe said, "A person from Rikkai should draw a piece of charming paper from the charming Ore-sama's charming box."

"Awww..." Gakuto pouted.

"Well?" Atobe demanded, "Who's next?"

Everyone from Rikkai took a BIG step backward, everyone except Jackal, why? Ahh... It's because... he stopped working and is unable to move...

"YOU!" Atobe pointed at Jackal, who was now standing in front of his fellow teammates. "YOU are next! Pick a charming piece of paper from Ore-sama's charming box!"

**Beep. Jackal started working. **

"..."

''..."

"...eh?" Jackal, who had just started working, tipped his head.

"...Ore-sama demandes that you pick a paper out of Ore-sama's box!"

"...ah..." And so, Jackal went up and took out a slip of paper from Atobe's box, it was a five centimeter by five centimeter piece of paper, and Jackal was wondering whose name was written on it...

**x. Omake .x**

"What the fuck is happening?!" Shishido walked up to them.

"AH!!" Kirihara pointed his AWESOME ACCUSING finger at Shishido, "How did you come back?! Didn't Atobe blast you off with a tank?!"

"Then how did YOU come back?!" Marui popped up behind Shishido.

"Well, WE," Kirihara pointed at Oshitari... who... just stood there. "Only got our wigs blown off, not our heads."

"Ohh..." Marui nodded, then looked at Kirihara, "Wait. You wear wigs?!"

"...just for fun." Kirihara said.

"Because once when we were shopping, we saw these wigs that was the EXACT same as our hair styles, so we bought them." Oshitari clarified.

"To protect our heads." Kirihara added.

"It worked." Oshitari nodded.

"..."

"..."

"...both of you went _shopping_?!" Shishido stared at them.

"...that's creepy." Marui said.

_...to be continued..._

* * *

**Umm... yeah... XDD**


End file.
